How-to self-care at court: 1540-1619 Edition

The Discourse, practical instructions one might find in a self-care listicle on the Internet today (“6 easy steps to succeed at court!”), is flanked by poetry: it begins with a sonnet, and ends with a blessing. It is not a cold, didactic work but one infused with the feeling and love of a father to his daughter. After the sonnet, he makes her aware of all the blessings for which she should be grateful: this is a form of self-care for both him and his daughter. In this work, much like Dhuoda’s Liber Manualis to her son, the parent is caring for himself in the absence of his child, using writing as self-care, to serve as his voice in the absence of his person from her side.

Consistent with the format of education during this time, and much like Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, Guasco seeks to teach his daughter through repetition, and he also seeks to teach her the value of repetitive actions to formulate proper habits which in turn preserve/enable her to conduct valuable self-care through the care of others–by caring for her family (name) as well as to the Lady for whom she is in waiting.

The following quotes of Guasco’s could just as easily be found in Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying-up, and Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, self-help (/care) staples:

“These things are our habits, demeanor, and manners, and consequently you will have to devote much thought to them. If these are engaging and attractive, we can so win over the hearts of those with whom we are associating that, without doing anything actually to serve and honor the, we put them under an obligation to do whatsoever lies in their power for us, and by the reverse type of behavior we can acquire people’s hatred even though we have done nothing to offend them. For this reason you will need to cultivate politeness and charm of manner as a gateway to people’s favor, and to note in the other ladies whatever seems to become them, endeavoring to copy it, and if there is anything in which they seem to be wanting, since it is impossible for anyone to achieve perfection in all respects, then you must avoid in yourself what you judge to be unbecoming in the others” (101).

“It is very true that the little you will have time to do, you must do well, for the excellence of the operation derives not from its quantity but from its quality, and in this you will have to invest much effort, all the more so because you will have no one to make you repeat anything you do negligently by reminding you that, just as children tend to resemble their parents and produce offspring similar to them, so our habits come to reflect the deeds from which they derive and to produce other similar habits. … So you must do what you can, and do it well, and if you can do no more, insure that every week, at least once, you practice all your skills …” (74)

Guasco provides his daughter Lavinia with motivation (multiple instances, really) as to why to honor her father and mother through the instructions that he gives (71-2) which is an important maxim for achieving goals: in this case, namely, preserving (at minimum) the honor of the family by honoring her soul, person, mistress whom she serves, and caring for the clothing and objects, respectively on down the line–in short, to take responsibility for the internal and external objects in her sphere.

He is quite concerned with her not being caught-in-the-act of gossiping, about her mistress or anyone else in her sphere–because her survival in this setting depends entirely on her being liked. And if she is favored above others, then she must turn up the dial on her humility to keep everyone around her from wishing her ill-will. This must all be done in earnest–because people can tell if she is not genuine, if her interior does not match her exterior. Through constant policing, she is to cultivate a persona in which no reluctance or regret concerning her employment would “escape from (her mouth), in any company whatsoever” (64). “Her chastity,” likewise, “should serve (her) always as a mirror” (63). Congruence, then, was to be valued, and cultivated at all costs. Many of these pages contain maxims on “not offending anyone” including: 86, 88 90 (etc.) and of maintaining consistent “humility” (100).

Self-care extends from her soul to her body, clothes and objects–as within, so without: “And you must apply this same consideration to all your actions in order to avoid affectation, the very antithesis of grace” (81). This is not unlike Paul’s biblical letters to Timothy, in which he tells him that since he is more sickly than others, even though they only drink water, he should drink “a little wine” when he writes: “But you can certainly imitate them by drinking your wine moderately and by watering it down whenever possible and, instead of drinking water, … you can be more restrained than them in what you eat” (78).

Paul was writing to serve as a father-figure to Timothy, encouraging him to drink wine as a form of self-care in much the same way that Guasco invokes his daughter to do the same. Frances Burney, who famously served in Queen Charlotte’s court as a lady-in-waiting in the eighteenth century as well, saw great difficulty in practicing self-care at court, due to constant demands on her body. Therefore, Lady Lavinia’s father’s reminder to “endeavor to maintain her health” (77) due to her “entering another’s employment” and “with so many undertakings on (her) hands” would have served as a reminder to Burney, who was so timid and incapable of carving out necessities to care for herself at court to the extent that she ended up having to quit the court of Queen Charlotte due to poor health–one example being her suffering eye damage from the cold winds on the carriage rides enforced by her boss at court.

Works Cited

Guasco, Annibal. Discourse of Signor Annibal Guasco to Lady Lavinia His Daughter: Concerning the Manner in which She Should Conduct Herself when Going to Court as Lady-in-waiting to the Most Serene Infanta, Lady Caterina, Duchess of Savoy.